when i got to work this morning i discovered a big brownish-yellow stain on the side of my blue corduroys. this stain, invisible in the yellow light of my apartment, is glaring and gross in the fluorescent light of the office. mmm, scary to think what i would find if i systematically wore my entire wardrobe to work. i just hope no one notices, because any attempt to explain it would land me in the slob's catch-22. either i know about the stain and a) don't care or b) none of my other pairs of pants is any cleaner OR i have revealed myself as someone who thinks i can get away with avoiding laundry even when i have spilled coffee all over myself.

nothing to be done but eat cookies for breakfast.

last night i went to a book party i was invited to through class. my prof edited this book, food for the soul: selections from the church of the apostles soup kitchen writers' workshop, which has an intro by ian frazier because he runs the workshop. a bunch of the writers read, but it was hard to understand them without a copy of the book because they either stood too close to the mic or too far away, had thick foreign accents, or were retarded. the stories were pretty much what you'd expect from a soup kitchen's writers' workshop, except for one woman with this beautiful voice. she was a tall, striking, mulatto ex–manic depressive alcoholic drug user who was sharp. perfect for an oprah segment only much deeper and more real. she sang her own song about hard times and grace and god in the soup kitchen and everyone cried.

mainly i went to the party to confirm that there was no point in going; otherwise i would've convinced myself that i had missed my chance to meet X harper's or new yorker editor, or at the very least, my mom's friend's writer son who told me about the prof whose class i'm taking now. being connected with him seemed to offer some promise last november when i called him for advice (he said he got my prof her job at the new yorker), and i've felt really stupid for never following up and sending him the piece i said i would. so i was looking forward to asking my prof about him and maybe finally meeting him. after spending most of the reception talking to other students of limited interest, i found my prof and asked her if he was here, and she was like, 'oh him? he's nutso! i love him to death, but last time i saw him, he showed up to a thing with his dog and was flipping out about how the world was going to end.' she then introduced me to a retard writer and moved on.

awesome.

born-again ankle

i just got back from the orthopedist's, where the nurse removed my bigheavy splint and gave me a cast. she tore apart the splint and the buttload of cotton i had sort of suspected was in there, and afterward it looked as if my foot had very forcefully hatched itself out of a giant cocoon.

there were all kinds of crazy used casts lined up on a shelf. there was a little mermaid, a kermit, a green cast with googly eyes and a tongue flap just where the toes come out, and a virgin mary done in sequins. i chose baby blue for mine. if i were a cast-plaster manufacturer, i'd sell wraps in stripes (brown and baby blue, of course) and license designer logos like luis vuitton and the burberry plaid so that sufferers of orthopedic trauma no longer must give up their brand loyalty in such difficult times. when you can wear only one designer shoe, you've got to make up for it somehow.

i just looked at my insurance website and discovered that i have a $6,000 tendon in my foot. whoa. it was itemized under 'prostheses.' my ankle has become my priciest accesory.

first day back at work and it is quiet. i'm the only one who didn't leave for lunch. it's usually the opposite. i didn't expect this, but crutching around the office makes me feel sort of pathetic. something to do with the way the crutches blend in with all the gray plastic in here. and how their rhythmic creak can be heard over the hum of computers and kitchenette appliances.

last week's recovery was an excellent break from work. i got my harper's intern app done friday (ed took it down there for me and, through an entertaining series of snafus in their office's system for receiving packages, actually ended up putting it in the hands of the man who will read it), which astounds me, because i never really believed i would hand it in. this weekend i had dreams about telling my boss i'm leaving. in between dreams involving accidental walking and what my stitches look like.

here you can see a video of jon stewart's appearance on crossfire.

if that link doesn't work try this one.

another friend getting married! let's see, now that's one from childhood, one from high school, one from college, and one from study abroad. i find this awfully...symmetrical. i don't keep up with anyone from summer camp, so who's it gonna be next?

arise, frankenfoot!

is my daily incantation for keeping my new, post-operative ankle elevated. for those of you who knew i was going to have my right ankle surged upon by an orthopedic surge-on this thursday past, i am ok and my new clubfoot and i are getting on fine. on those of you who didn't know, i bestow the relief of never having worried.

the surgery was for ligament repair (i had ligaments so stretched and barely there i needed a tendon transfer, i.e., a tendon from a dead person, hence the frankenfoot nickname, coined by greg, to give all credit where credit is due), took four hours, and will keep me on crutches for 6 weeks. the foot is bigger than my face and will be pacified by narcotics (great buzz when combined with coffee, fyi) for a few more days. i'm taking the same class of hydrocodone that got rush limbaugh in trouble...it was that or the robert downey jr–endorsed vicadin, a prescription i could still fill if i were into spending a week of my life doing some truly mind-bending dvd watching. in all seriousness, i think skipping work, lying around my apartment, and taking federally controlled substances is just the break i need to attack that harper's internship application i keep saying i'm gonna do.

leave comments with netflix recommendations or costume ideas for my foot and me for halloween.